Oct. 15, 2021

Marriage is recommended for couples who have a similar lifestyle. The marriage partners should be competent to fulfil Allah's purpose for their creation. They should be able to properly fulfil their role as earth's caretakers (khalifah). They should all have the same aim in mind: to create a well-integrated Muslim community, and they should be able to work together to achieve it.


Selection Criteria for a Marriage Partner

Wealth, beauty, status, personality, genuineness, compatibility, religion, and other factors are commonly used to pick marriage partners.  However,  Muslims are commanded by the Quran to choose partners who are good and pure.

"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity "(Quran 24:26)

Muslims should choose companions who are the best in terms of religion (din) and character, according to Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.).

"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper". (Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet Muhammad (S) promised Allah's blessings to people who want to marry and live of contentment and purity.

"Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life". (Tirmidhi)

The freedom to select a marriage partner

You have the freedom marry a spouse of your choice in Islam. The would-be-spouses' mutual choice is given the utmost importance:

"do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner" (Quran 2:232)

The process of selecting your partner should be based on a healthy mix of would-be spouses' freedom of choice and consideration of the parents'/guardians' influence and agreement. The freedom of people who want to marry should not prohibit the influence and consent of their parents/guardians, nor should the parents/guardians disregard the wishes and consent of their children. In Islam, falling in love is not a need for marriage. The would-be-spouses are allowed to view and/or chat to each other for the goal of selecting an appropriate match.

Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended:

"When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so". (Abu Dawood)

Under the direct supervision of their mahram family, the would-be spouses are allowed to visit each other for marriage purposes. This provision should be devised and implemented with piety and humility in mind.

Prophet Muhammad (S) instructed:

"No man has the right to be in the privacy with a woman who is not lawful for him. Satan is their third party unless there is a mahram". (Ahmad)

SR Munshi

SR Munshi is a published author at Muslim Marriage Bureau Gujarat. A writer by day and a reader by night, he's passionate about topics that pertain to Islamic traditions, culture, and history.