Oct. 25, 2021

You don't only receive a wife when you get married; you get your entire universe. Your spouse will be your companion, comrade, and greatest friend from now till the end of your days.


She'll share your moments, days, and years with you. She'll tell you about your pleasures and sorrows, your triumphs and failures, your hopes and worries. When you're sick, she'll take the greatest care of you; when you need assistance, she'll do everything she can to help you.

She will keep your secret if you have one, and she will offer you the greatest advice if you need it. She will always be with you: the first thing your eyes will see when you wake up in the morning will be hers; during the day, she will be with you; if she is not physically present with you, she will be thinking of you and sending prayers for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep every night, the last thing your eyes will see will be hers; and while you are asleep you will st In a nutshell, she'll be your entire world, and you'll be her entire world.

The best portrayal of the closeness of spouses to each other that I have ever read is the Qur'anic passage that reads, "They are your garments, and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Spouses are similar to clothing in that they provide each other with the same protection, comfort, cover, support, and decoration as garments provide to humans. Imagine travelling through Alaska in the winter without any clothing! In the voyage of our life on this earth, our wives give us with the same amount of warmth, security, cover, and support that clothing provides in the Alaskan journey.

The most astonishing of all human relationships is that between spouses: the level of affection and love, affinity and closeness, mercy and compassion, serenity and quiet that fills the hearts of the spouses is just unexplainable. "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature..." is the sole rational explanation for this most astounding of all human sentiments. 16:72 (Surah Al Nahl) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, in His Infinite Power, Endless Mercy, and Great Wisdom, can generate and instil these wonderful and happy feelings in the hearts of the couples. In fact, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala reminds those seeking His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of spouses are among the signs that should lead humans to His existence, as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts." 30:21 (Surah Al Rum)

However, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is aware that the human heart is not a static object; it can be weak at times and dynamic at others. Feelings can, and often do, shift throughout time. Love has the potential to wither and fade away. If not adequately cared for, the marital tie may deteriorate. Happiness in marriage is not something that can be taken for granted; it demands ongoing giving on both sides. The soil must be nourished, maintained, watered, and fostered in order for the tree of marital love to be alive and thrive.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad, Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam, had time to run with his wife Aisha in the desert. She outran him at first, but he eventually outran her once she gained weight.

Remember how the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam accompanied his wife to witness young Ethiopians perform their traditional dances. It is vital to display emotions in order to maintain the marriage tie from rusting and breaking.

Remember that whatever sentiments you show to your wife would be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam stated, "one will be rewarded for anything that he does seeking Allah's pleasure, even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."

Never undervalue the significance of seemingly insignificant actions such as placing food in your wife's mouth, opening the car door for her, and so on. Remember how the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam would extend his knee to his wife to help her mount the camel?

Make an effort to pray together at least once a week. Strengthening your relationship with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best method to ensure that your own marriage ties remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala invariably leads to more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam provided good news to couples who get up in the middle of the night to pray together. Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam even advised the spouse who rises first to wake up the other spouse by splashing cold water on his or her face.

Always make an effort to be good to your wife, both in words and deeds. Talk to her, smile at her, seek her advice, solicit her opinion, spend quality time with her, and remember what the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam said: "The best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Finally, it is common for spouses to promise to love and honour one another until death do them part. I believe that this promise is nice, if not fantastic, yet it is insufficient! It is insufficient to love your wife. You must share her enthusiasm for the things she enjoys. Her loved ones, her family, must likewise become your loved ones. Don't be like one of my colleagues, who was irritated by his wife's parents' stay for a few weeks. He told her bluntly, "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she became enraged and screamed, "I don't like yours either"... Also, simply loving her until death do you part isn't enough. Love should never end, and we believe in a life beyond death in which those who lived lives of righteousness will be reunited by their spouses and progeny (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70).

The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallam is the best example in this regard, as his love for Khadija, his wife for 25 years, extended to all those she loved and continued even after her death. He never forgot Khadija, and whenever a goat was slaughtered at his house, he would send pieces to Khadija's family and friends, and anytime he thought the visitor at the door may be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray, "O Allah, let it be Hala.

SR Munshi

SR Munshi is a published author at Muslim Marriage Bureau Gujarat. A writer by day and a reader by night, he's passionate about topics that pertain to Islamic traditions, culture, and history.